The other night I was walking the girls just like any other night. (yes, I'm actually waking them at the same time when my arms and hands feel up to the work out). Both the girls have come a long way with their heeling and I was pleasantly surprised. At first they are total morons when we leave the house. You would think they had never seen the outside of the house by the way they act....falling all over themselves and each other to be the first one to reach the sidewalk. It takes a good 5 minutes for them to calm down enough to even be aware that I'm with them. Everything they look at is interesting. Every sound they hear requires stopping; cocking their ears and tilting their heads in order to hear it better. (sometimes they look like mechanical dogs when they do that the exact same way at the same exact time....very cool).Don't let anyone tell you it's easy to teach two young dogs to walk together. Maybe it's easier with a harness but I refuse to use them on the girls. To use a harness is to admit defeat to the world. A harness says my dogs are not leash trained and I want my arms to stay in their sockets. I'm determined not to send that message to the world. I want these dogs to be trained very well so I can trust them off leash and in most circumstances. I want them to be my friends and not unruly children that make my friends cringe to see them coming. So I walk them constantly and sometimes together.
This night all is going well... after they finally realized that in fact they are not in a race and there is no prize for dragging Mom down the street. We took a different direction that night and practiced our turns several times. The trainer from our class suggested taking different routes while training on leash to keep them on their toes and push them in the direction of paying attention to what I'm saying to them. For a little while however, the only thing getting pushed were my buttons. Nicki would suddenly what to go left while Bell was dropping back behind me...and they constantly were changing positions to the point where I no longer knew who was who. (a deliberate act of sabotage if you ask me) But eventually even my two clowns run out of tricks and they actually started paying attention to me. (as long as there were no fire hydrants lurking around the corner).
We were in the home stretch and doing a beautiful job of it when it suddenly all went wrong. We were crossing the driveway to Leete Stevens (a funeral home near my house) when we all were nearly run over by some woman leaving the funeral home. There had been a wake and lots of cars had already left. It was our misfortune to be crossing the driveway when this woman came tearing through the parking lot and was headed straight for us. At first I wasn't alarmed, I wasn't really even aware of her...my attention was focused on the girls. Somewhere in my head the sound of her engine registered with me and then I realized she wasn't slowing down...she was going faster. But still, your mind says she'll stop...she can't miss seeing us...there are FOUR huge lights shining down on us. And then I realized she wasn't going to stop...she was going to go right through us!
At about the same time my heart started racing; my brain told my body what to do without bothering to think about it. I yanked the girls back and jumped away from her car...all in one smooth motion..or at least it felt that way. And then I felt paralyzed with the secondary fear that sets in once you realize the close call you just had. I looked at her in disbelief as she stops the car at the edge of the driveway where it meets the road. I instantly got the impression that if cars had not been coming down the road she would have just kept going. She had this look on her face like she had no idea why I was standing so close to her car. Well.....let me tell you, I TOLD her just exactly why I was standing so close to her car! And I told her at the top of my lungs to her face! It started off with what the hell is the matter with you? I'm walking here and you nearly ran me over! (Her window was up and that's fortunate because I had suddenly found myself feeling like I'd like to pull her through the window and pound her face). In all honestly I don't fully remember what I said next. All I know is it rivaled the language an angry pirate may have used if you decided to pull on his beard. I let loose with a barrage of filthy language...called her every name that came to mind...I've been around awhile so I know a few words...and it felt good!
To her credit, she took it and said nothing back. She had a look of shock on her face when I was through with her...no surprise there. But it was the best thing she could have done...nothing...just let me rant and I'll move on. And that's exactly what I did.
We continued on our way. We were almost home. And the whole way I was reliving the scene in my head. And I know why I blew up at her. It's not because I was mad at her or because I really think she is the dumb f*ck that I called her. She may in actuality have been very upset after coming from a wake. Perhaps she lost a good friend. I get that. I blew up at her because I was scared...because she could have killed me and my dogs right there in the street..(or worse, killed just me and they'd be loose in the road at night) ...because I wasn't prepared for a life threatening event and my instinct was to protect my pups. I was furious with her because of the threat to the puppies. I never would have reacted so strongly if I had been alone. I'm not the kind of person to go off on a stranger.
There are two things I feel very strongly about in this world...protecting young children and animals. It's mostly about innocence and trust. Young children and animals trust us to love them and protect them from the evils of the world. They are innocent in every sense of the word. And I sincerely believe that it's our responsibility as adults to honor that trust in order to protect their innocence. I don't know where that feeling comes from in me. I don't know why I feel so strongly about it. Maybe it developed in me when I became a Mom and realized all the dangers there are in the world for children. You can never fully protect them and that little secret fear for them was always with me. All I know is somewhere along the way I took on some of the traits of a lioness. And this lioness, when angered, has a mouth like a sailor and if you push me too far Kitty has claws too!
