Saturday, April 23, 2016

Assisted Living- Are We Really Assisting Anyone?







This semester I'm taking a class that directly relates to being a Recreational Therapist. That includes learning about the different type of therapies that are used; learning how to assess your client and determine what type of therapy would work best with them and then of course evaluate the results. As a part of our training the teacher (who definitely has hippie undertones) emailed us to show up at an assisted living facility in Glastonbury for our Monday night class. She also told those who were supposed to be presenting something to the class, to bring your presentation with you. I was one of those people so I brought my presentation. 

My presentation is a game (obstacle course really) I made up that would fall into the category of a physical activity. Others from the class were to present cognitive; artistic and other types of activities. I packed up my stuff and showed up at the facility. Luckily I did not unpack my car because there was no way I could have done my game with the residents of this place. 

We were brought to a special wing to work with the memory impaired folks. They broke us up into groups at tables with some of the residents at each table with us. We were introduced to them and they to us and explained the project we were going to do with them. That was the last part that actually made any sense to me. 

I was at a table with two young girls from my class. We had Yvonne to my left in a wheelchair; Connie to her left in a wheelchair; Kim to her left (from my class) then Pat to her left who could not understand what was going on; Bree to her left (from my class) and ending with another resident (can't remember her name) to her left (my right) who came with a walker and sat down. 
We engaged them as best we could with small talk trying to get to know them a bit. That was difficult. Yvonne was not willing or able to give more than yes or no answers; Connie wanted to sleep; as I mentioned Pat had no idea what was going on and the last one was silently judging us all. Eventually the teacher breezed by and gave us the 'activity' we were supposed to help them to do. We had sheets of paper with a decoration on it that we were going to use glitter pens to decorate. And that's exactly what we did for the next hour. The only thing is WE did all of it...they wanted nothing to do with the project; with the glitter; with our small talk; with us or with anything to do with being there. Yvonne refused to even try the activity or even to pick a color; Connie was sleeping no matter how often Kim tried to rouse her to participate; Pat just stared at the paper with a gel pen in her hand cringing away from anyone that tired to assist her and the other lady just said no to everything. 

We valiantly carried on decorating our hearts out; trying one form of conversation after another; simplifying the discussion to suit the client; sometimes trying to engage a memory....nothing worked. Then the teacher came back loudly praising our pictures and asking to hang them up on display. She didn't wait for an answer but took them away. I ever saw them again. 

Next we were to play a game with them using colored M&M's. You pick a colored M&M and you'd have to answer the question that corresponds to that color. This is intended to be used as a memory jogging game only once again it was failing miserably. Yvonne kept eating her candy and refusing to answer any questions; Connie was sleeping; Pat couldn't understand the questions being asked of her and cringed away from the M&M and then refused to give them up but wouldn't eat them either; the last one (who's name I still can't remember) simply got up and walked away....even left her walker in her haste to leave us. The attendant got it for her and took her back to her room or wherever it was that she wanted to go. Her parting words were something along the lines of I don't like M&M's and I don't want to be here. 

From there we were finally let off the hook and taken to meet a lovely lady named Betty. Betty has her shit together and she was going to teach us a game. Half the class went with Betty to learn the game and the other half of the class went with the teacher....I have no idea where. We did learn the game from Betty but I was far more interested in learning about Betty's life. She told us her and her husband (now dead from cancer) used to sell antiques and odds and ends at large tag sales, traveling around the state to do it. They made pretty good money at it. He was also a carpenter and loved to do finishing work....they'd sell that too. She had 4 children, one of which died as a teenager. None of the other 3 were able to take her in or so she says. I think that is a horrible thing and probably an excuse. She is far more able bodied than my own mother who lives alone and her mind is very quick and sound. She is unhappy at this place because there is no one to play the games she likes....she says they all want to sit in a chair and sleep....they don't want to use their minds. When we left she said we were 'lovely girls' (I haven't been referred to as a girl in a very long time) and we were welcome to come back and visit her anytime. 

I felt guilty for days after meeting her ...because I probably won't go back to visit her and she clearly needs someone to do just that. I really liked her very much. 

The following Monday we had class again and the teacher asked us how we liked the visit to the assisted living place. She looked at me and said didn't you just love it? I said it was educational. She asked what I meant and I said now know I don't want to work with the memory impaired, but I really like Betty. 

My overall impression was that it was a waste of time for us to be there. They didn't want to participate in what we were bringing them; didn't want to talk to us about themselves; and in at least one case didn't even want to be in our company. It could have been too late in the day for them (clearly it was for Connie at least) or maybe the activities weren't something they cared about or maybe we just had a group that was a bit too far gone to care about us at all. I don't know. All I know is that the teacher came over and made a huge fuss over pictures that her students made as if the  residents had done them and I came away feeling like I'd accomplished nothing at all. She has told us in class that working with the memory impaired is her favorite group. I can't help but wonder why. 

I am way too physical for that group of clients and that type of activity. All the demonstration/presentations I have done are based in the physical realm of therapy and that's where my interests lie. I may not be cut out for working with the elderly at all. I don't know at this point. I do know that I don't want to see another old man slumped over in his hospital bed starring out the door at people walking by his room. I saw one man like that as we were walking in and I immediately had to hold back tears. He reminded me of my Dad and the years he spent in a hospital bed in our living room. I feel for the old man and I'd like to help him but I can't work with someone like that and leave it to go home at night. It follows me everywhere and affects my life. I can't do it. 

So I'm left searching for a different avenue to direct myself. I have time, I have several more classes to take and an internship to do as well. I may do better with kids or young adults...and I have an interest in working with veterans too. I hope to experience a better variety so I can make a better judgment in the long run. 

Saturday, April 2, 2016

















My Year in Review 2015

Jan. 1st -      Justin and Kasey took me to Olive Garden for soup; salad and bread sticks to thank me for driving them home on New Year’s eve.
Jan. 26th      Blizzard of 2015
My neighbor to the left (only have a nodding acquaintance with them) used his snow blower to clear the end of the sidewalk where the town had plowed it in. I waved to him in thanks.
Some random guy with a plow on his truck saw me shoveling and plowed my driveway for free. I’m going to hire him going forward. Good strategy on his part.
Jan. 31st      I learned how to scan old photo’s into my laptop today. Sent pics of Tracy and Paul Conklin to Darlene Duffy (their sister). Tracy has been dead now for some time so the new pictures were a welcome surprise.
Feb. 27th      Went to an Island Party at the CT Science Museum with Anne; Lynsey; Beth-Ann and Leslie (Anne’s friend). Fun!
Mar. 2nd      I took an online typing test today. I can type 55 wpm! Not bad for not having typed anything consistently since high school.
                   I did excellent on my first two quizzes and two papers I did in my Psychology class!
Mar. 6th       While going thru a stack of paperwork that has been in a pile for years…I came across the ‘Glamour Shots’ that I had taken with Carol Krewalk when I was 40 yrs old. I look great and it was nice to find them. I’m thankful Carol made me do it. Wish she was still here so I could tell her that.
Mar. 17th     Talked to Sonia from work today. It was great catching p with her! (Today is Amata’s birthday. She’s 5 yrs old. Such a sweet little girl)
Apr. 19th     Anniversary of Carol’s death – 1 yr. Took a 2 ½ hr hike at McClean’s. I took pictures of turtles on a log sticking out of the pond. It was a beautiful sunny day. Posted pictures on Carol’s Face Book page that night. I miss her so much.
Apr. 25th     I went hiking with Justin and Don at Onion Mountain. Found a tick in my head that night. I managed to get the whole tick out in one piece. I saved the body in case I get any symptoms of Lyme showing.
Apr. 26th     I jammed up my paper shredder. Opened it and fixed it myself! First time doing that!
May 4th       I stayed after class tonight to talk to Prof. Percy. I never thought he’d be as open as he was tonight, both in class and after. I really like him – wish I knew him as a friend.
May 8th       I finally have a state job I can apply to! Clerk Typist….probably won’t get it but I’m going for it anyway!
May 8th       Prof. Percy told me I have an ‘A’ in his class. We talked for about an hour after class. I like him very much – he’s extremely intelligent but messed up too. (Extreme introvert and highly intelligent) He made me think really hard; raised the bar. I may not need to take the finals in his class – probably won’t. I’m going to miss him. Wish he could continue to assign me work. I’m afraid I will sink back into being stupid and stressed.
May 12th     JD called me and we got to talk for quite a while. He was laid off from BOA too. (Along with Ted Maniatis and Don Sheehan) I never would have thought they’d let JD go but I do recall him and Phyllis telling me he wasn’t being assigned enough loans….and that was back before I was laid off.
May 13th     Volunteered at Dakin. I got to play with puppies!! There were 3 different litters of pups that were all different age groups. I picked the middle-aged ones….more lively and fun to play with. Playing with the pups helps them become socialized with people and sets them on the path to becoming better pets later on.
May 22nd     Went hiking with Bunny and Kaylee at Blackledge Falls in Glastonbury. I had been there previously with Justin; Kasey; Jess; Matt and I believe Carlos too. That day Matt carried a banana throughout the entire hike but never ate it. Of course we teased him that he has to bring a safety banana on all hikes going forward. Blackledge Falls were very pretty and we climbed up over the top of the falls to check it out too. The stream that feeds the falls (when we were there) was only a tiny little thing that was easily stepped over.
May 23rd     Volunteered to play with puppies again. Anne couldn’t make it. Had to clean and feed 5 pups and their mother. Tough getting them all back in the pen at the same time! Cute puppies!
May 30th     Volunteered with Anne at Dakin. We took care of the 5 puppies and their mom (who has now been diagnosed with kennel cough). They were wall to wall shit! We worked our asses off! Luckily we always have extra gear on to cover our clothes because that was a hell of a dirty job. Afterward we went to Denny’s and Anne bought me breakfast. She’s having a little cookout at her house tonight too.
Jun. 3rd        Attended the “First” program in Hartford today. It’s a free program put on by the state of CT to assist unemployed people in getting another job. Had fun in the class. I had lunch with Tony (one of the instructor’s). Unfortunately I was sick with a roaring headache the next day so I didn’t finish the 3 day class. But Tony said he’d help me finish class on his Thursdays at CTWorks. Yeah!
Jun 9th         Had a wonderful day at Hammond Castle with Justin and Kasey! Crossed the castle off my bucket list and got to climb across huge rocks at the edge of the shoreline there with my son. Gloucester, Ma. was an awesome town…..very close to Rockport too.
Jun 14th, 15th & 16th      
                   Jean is visiting from Alaska. Got to see a lot of her and laugh our asses off I haven’t seen her in about 4 yrs. so this was a real treat. She seems to have the same sense of humor I do so it’s very easy to have fun with her.
Jun. 13th      I stopped at the Broad Brook house (which will always be Dotty’s house in my head) to help Jean with her tag sale. I met her friend Nina; Anne Pitney Harrington (sister to Jeanne Pitney) and her husband, Kenny Harrington. We all ended up laughing our asses off. I needed that!
Jun 14th       Pool party at Jean’s house in Woodstock. I brought Mom. Patty and her boyfriend Mike were there too. Jean and I laughed our asses off again of course. Gary (Jean’s husband) made an effort to be social – pretty good job for him but he’s really difficult to be friendly to most of the time. He enjoyed talking to Mom I think. Anne and Kenny Harrington were there too. The pool was awesome. Good times!
                   Making beef stew in the crock pot for the dogs. I hate beef stew….they love it. I’m a good mommy.
Jun 15th       Worked with Jean and Gary at the Broad Brook house for hours cleaning out stuff to donate and throw away. Gary bought lunch (dinner really) after….that was the deal he threw out there for me to help them. I discovered Gary is a tightwad for sure….trying to make sure I didn’t spend too much of his money. So I teased him that I was going to ask the waitress if I could order lobster but I’d settle for a good steak. I ended up having a salad as I always intended but it was fun to get him going…so easy to do. I had been calling him dumb-ass most of the day and he thought that was funny. He really is a dumb-ass actually. Lol
Jun 20th       Got a call from Dr. Allen. The tumors that have been growing on Bell’s ear are not cancerous!
Jun 22nd      Took both dogs to hike the green trail in Granby. Saw and photographed a young doe in the field. The dogs (and me too) played in the water. I need to do this more often. Screw the job hunting, my life is passing me by.
Jun 27th       Visited the Lockwood-Mathews Mansion in Norwalk with Bunny today. Only got a mini tour. Art show outside but it was raining and cold. A very long ride to only get a mini tour and go home. Somewhat disappointing day. Rained all night after I got home.
July 3rd; 4th & 5th
                   Had Kaylee 3 days with me. We went to see the movie Inside Out and had lunch at Lulu’s together. Then I bought her a pain set and paper to make artwork.
July 3rd        Had a great time with Justin and Kaylee. We brought Zack; Maggie and Bell to Powder Hollow to play in the water. Kaylee actually went swimming too. Fun times!
July 21st      For two days I’ve been trimming the huge (grown out of control) bush in the front yard. The beast is looking better now!
July 22nd     Made a tree and a screaming face with water color paints today. It made me happy. I put it in Kaylee’s keepsake box. She’ll have it when I’m gone someday. J
                   Painted most of the front stairs today. They look pretty good. Neighbors behind me moved out. They sold their house pretty fast and for a lot more than I would have paid for it.
July 27th      Had a nice interview with “Ashley” at Reliable Temps today. Sure hope they get me a job. They are in Agawam. I’m going to go check out more companies in that area too. (As it turned out I never heard a word from them again. I wonder how the temp companies stay in business if they never follow up with people).
Aug 5th        Had an interview at Pratt & Whitney today. Thought it was going to be too corporate for me but I liked it. I liked Dan Kunec who would be my boss. Now I want this job! Probably pays better than the other places too.
Aug 6th        Had a phone interview for Volunteer Coordinator position @ Dakin. The interview was with Leslie (the director) and Laurie (don’t know her position there but she generally pretends to be in charge). I liked them; they liked me. Leslie wanted to hire me but the job doesn’t pay enough for me to live on so I had to decline.
Aug 7th        Picked up Kaylee early from day camp and went to the lake. We got there around 4 pm; ate and went swimming. Had a really ice time with her. She swims like a fish and actually I caught a little fish in my hands too! She is such a sweet little girl! I am so very glad she is in my life. She makes me forget all about stuff going wrong in my life and helps me live for the moment. J
Aug 13th      Just had an awesome interview at Carrington Mortgage Services in Windsor.
Aug 22nd     Took Kasey to the hospital because she was leaking. I’m pretty sure she was going into labor but I didn’t want to scare her. She is 3 weeks early.
Aug 24th      Monday, Aug, 24th at 6:23 am Shaylynn was born via C-section at Johnson Memorial Hospital. She weighed 5 lbs 13 oz. and is 19 inches long.  I am a grandmother again!!
Sept 2nd       Went to the lake with Kaylee today. It was a lovely hot day for it. There was a loose dog there called Lucas – a Dalmatian (but w/brown spots). He was bothering other dogs a bit and looking for food from everyone he saw. He belonged to nice older gay men that were wandering around trying to get him to come back to them. Funny!
Sept 12th     Had lunch at Lulu’s with Anne. She brought her Aunt Betty with her who is 85 yrs old. Nice lady – very slow without her walker but very nice! LOL
Sept 16th     Hiked at Laughing Brook Wildlife Sanctuary in Hampden, Ma. today. It’s a nice place but they don’t allow pets and its isolated enough for me to want one of those dogs with me. I met a creepy guy that was coming out when I was coming in….he asked me questions after he had gone past me. I did not like that or him one bit. I had my hand on my bear spray the whole time.
Sept 23rd     Had Shay most of the day today. She is so sweet! I miss her as soon as she goes home!
Oct 2nd        Took my first drug test for my new job at Carrington today. Turned out to be a urine test and I was expecting a blood test. Who knew??!
Oct. 6th        Went to Nevers Road Park in South Windsor with Kasey and Shay. Shay slept through the walk but woke up enough to try to poop on me when I was changing her diaper. She did manage to pee all over my hand. J
Oct 7th         Had Kaylee overnight and took her to school in the morning. I wish I had more time with her. She told she shaved her legs for the first time. I think it’s too soon for that crap –she’s only 12 yrs. old. But I doubt she’ll keep it up. It’s a lot of work. Kids grow up too fast these days.
Oct 18th       Had Kaylee overnight last night. She sat with me in the chair for a while and She read to Me before she went to bed. (Where the Sidewalk Ends). This morning we painted our papier mache birds but they aren’t done yet. They need a few more coats of paint I think. First day of work for me tomorrow. Kaylee wrote on the board for me: “You’re #1 Grandma remember you’ll do great!!” Love that little girl!!
Oct 19th       Finally started my new job at Carrington Mortgage Services!
Nov 6th        Got my 1st paycheck from Carrington. I may not be crazy about the job but it sure feels good to have some money coming in again!
Nov 8th        Went hiking with Tin; Kasey; Zack and Shay at Whitaker Woods Trail (the white trail) in Somers today. This was the babies 1st hike and she slept thru the whole thing. We had 3 giant dogs come running at us to meet us. Justin thought the 2 black ones were bears. Hysterical watching him trying to grab bear spray from a knapsack on his back!! LOL
Nov 11th      Got Bunny an interview with Jarrod at work. They are going to hire her! We haven’t worked together since we were teenagers and worked at Gunver in Manchester.
Nov 25th      Job has been tough going with my trainer. Michelle is such a nitpicker about the smallest detail of the job….I can’t do anything good enough for her. Jarrod started training me on the fees today. We had a conversation about how I was doing good and started back-sliding because of losing confidence with my trainer picking out every tiny error. He’s much better at training!
Nov 28th      Hiked Peaked Mountain in Monson, Ma. with Justin and Zack in the rain. First time hiking in the rain for me. The view at the top was Fantastic!!
Dec 10th      Taking care of Shay on Thursday nights is the best part of my week!
Dec 18th      Today I was moved across from Jarrod’s desk. I disclosed my first loan today! It’s about time too. If the training was better and consistent it would have happened sooner.
Dec. 31st      Spent New Year’s eve with Shay. Such a cutie!