This semester I'm taking a class that directly relates to being a Recreational Therapist. That includes learning about the different type of therapies that are used; learning how to assess your client and determine what type of therapy would work best with them and then of course evaluate the results. As a part of our training the teacher (who definitely has hippie undertones) emailed us to show up at an assisted living facility in Glastonbury for our Monday night class. She also told those who were supposed to be presenting something to the class, to bring your presentation with you. I was one of those people so I brought my presentation.
My presentation is a game (obstacle course really) I made up that would fall into the category of a physical activity. Others from the class were to present cognitive; artistic and other types of activities. I packed up my stuff and showed up at the facility. Luckily I did not unpack my car because there was no way I could have done my game with the residents of this place.
We were brought to a special wing to work with the memory impaired folks. They broke us up into groups at tables with some of the residents at each table with us. We were introduced to them and they to us and explained the project we were going to do with them. That was the last part that actually made any sense to me.
I was at a table with two young girls from my class. We had Yvonne to my left in a wheelchair; Connie to her left in a wheelchair; Kim to her left (from my class) then Pat to her left who could not understand what was going on; Bree to her left (from my class) and ending with another resident (can't remember her name) to her left (my right) who came with a walker and sat down.
We engaged them as best we could with small talk trying to get to know them a bit. That was difficult. Yvonne was not willing or able to give more than yes or no answers; Connie wanted to sleep; as I mentioned Pat had no idea what was going on and the last one was silently judging us all. Eventually the teacher breezed by and gave us the 'activity' we were supposed to help them to do. We had sheets of paper with a decoration on it that we were going to use glitter pens to decorate. And that's exactly what we did for the next hour. The only thing is WE did all of it...they wanted nothing to do with the project; with the glitter; with our small talk; with us or with anything to do with being there. Yvonne refused to even try the activity or even to pick a color; Connie was sleeping no matter how often Kim tried to rouse her to participate; Pat just stared at the paper with a gel pen in her hand cringing away from anyone that tired to assist her and the other lady just said no to everything.
We valiantly carried on decorating our hearts out; trying one form of conversation after another; simplifying the discussion to suit the client; sometimes trying to engage a memory....nothing worked. Then the teacher came back loudly praising our pictures and asking to hang them up on display. She didn't wait for an answer but took them away. I ever saw them again.
Next we were to play a game with them using colored M&M's. You pick a colored M&M and you'd have to answer the question that corresponds to that color. This is intended to be used as a memory jogging game only once again it was failing miserably. Yvonne kept eating her candy and refusing to answer any questions; Connie was sleeping; Pat couldn't understand the questions being asked of her and cringed away from the M&M and then refused to give them up but wouldn't eat them either; the last one (who's name I still can't remember) simply got up and walked away....even left her walker in her haste to leave us. The attendant got it for her and took her back to her room or wherever it was that she wanted to go. Her parting words were something along the lines of I don't like M&M's and I don't want to be here.
From there we were finally let off the hook and taken to meet a lovely lady named Betty. Betty has her shit together and she was going to teach us a game. Half the class went with Betty to learn the game and the other half of the class went with the teacher....I have no idea where. We did learn the game from Betty but I was far more interested in learning about Betty's life. She told us her and her husband (now dead from cancer) used to sell antiques and odds and ends at large tag sales, traveling around the state to do it. They made pretty good money at it. He was also a carpenter and loved to do finishing work....they'd sell that too. She had 4 children, one of which died as a teenager. None of the other 3 were able to take her in or so she says. I think that is a horrible thing and probably an excuse. She is far more able bodied than my own mother who lives alone and her mind is very quick and sound. She is unhappy at this place because there is no one to play the games she likes....she says they all want to sit in a chair and sleep....they don't want to use their minds. When we left she said we were 'lovely girls' (I haven't been referred to as a girl in a very long time) and we were welcome to come back and visit her anytime.
I felt guilty for days after meeting her ...because I probably won't go back to visit her and she clearly needs someone to do just that. I really liked her very much.
The following Monday we had class again and the teacher asked us how we liked the visit to the assisted living place. She looked at me and said didn't you just love it? I said it was educational. She asked what I meant and I said now know I don't want to work with the memory impaired, but I really like Betty.
My overall impression was that it was a waste of time for us to be there. They didn't want to participate in what we were bringing them; didn't want to talk to us about themselves; and in at least one case didn't even want to be in our company. It could have been too late in the day for them (clearly it was for Connie at least) or maybe the activities weren't something they cared about or maybe we just had a group that was a bit too far gone to care about us at all. I don't know. All I know is that the teacher came over and made a huge fuss over pictures that her students made as if the residents had done them and I came away feeling like I'd accomplished nothing at all. She has told us in class that working with the memory impaired is her favorite group. I can't help but wonder why.
I am way too physical for that group of clients and that type of activity. All the demonstration/presentations I have done are based in the physical realm of therapy and that's where my interests lie. I may not be cut out for working with the elderly at all. I don't know at this point. I do know that I don't want to see another old man slumped over in his hospital bed starring out the door at people walking by his room. I saw one man like that as we were walking in and I immediately had to hold back tears. He reminded me of my Dad and the years he spent in a hospital bed in our living room. I feel for the old man and I'd like to help him but I can't work with someone like that and leave it to go home at night. It follows me everywhere and affects my life. I can't do it.
So I'm left searching for a different avenue to direct myself. I have time, I have several more classes to take and an internship to do as well. I may do better with kids or young adults...and I have an interest in working with veterans too. I hope to experience a better variety so I can make a better judgment in the long run.
