So...I
held a rather crappy tag sale today. Lots of people stopped by because I live
on a busy street. Lots of elderly people....lots of elderly people that want to
pay less than a dollar for every damn thing under the sun. (And in this case I
do mean under the sun. It was hot out there today!). I don't know about you but
when an item is marked as $2 and its clearly an item that is normally sold
for much more ( I was pricing everything to get rid of it quickly) and is
in nearly pristine condition, I am not inclined to ask 'will you take $1?'.
This is not so of 99% of the elderly people that wobbled and tottered their way
from their cars to my sale...often from their big shiny SUV's and brand new
LDT's.
And on the other end of the scale you have the bottom feeders. They show
up with an army of unruly kids that immediately make themselves at home
touching everything; while their parents inspect each item as if they were
doing research on it; then decide on a few small (cheapest) items and try to
pay for some but not all of the items they are walking to their car holding.
When I tell them they owe me for each item they do the little confused dance of
'gee I thought it was a two for deal' or 'I didn't know it was that much'
(we're talking the difference of a dollar here)...all the while not realizing
that I recognize a rehearsed skit when I see it...and I wait for the extra
crumbled dollar to be dug out of that pocket...with a smile on my face the
whole time. We dropped our prices to try to appease the people that were showing
up....it didn't seem to matter. No matter how low the price was they always
wanted it lower.
And then the slowest, most unsteady old lady showed up...and
she stayed. Oh she made a show of looking at things; asked the price on an item
or two and then made herself comfortable on the step next to me and proceeded
to tell us all about herself....her son that she hasn't seen in 20 yrs; his
cancer; her knee surgery (pulled up her pant leg to show us her scar); the two
books she has written; the fact that she's been on TV more than once; recited
poem after poem after poem that she wrote ( from those books don't ya know) and
topped it off by badgering potential customers that they have to buy our
Halloween masks (regardless of what they may have come looking for) to the
point where I'm sure they thought she 'was with us' and I was wishing she was
somewhere else!
TWO HOURS later (I am not exaggerating) she is finally ready to
go...but not before having me help her to her car so she can hobble back up to
my house to show us her two books. And in between the pages of those books are
many photos, all of which must be viewed, explained and admired. Until we came
upon a particular photo that Bunny (my sister) and I recognized immediately. It was a
picture of the Hog Hollow Hooters...a small band of mature people that used to
perform their 'music' using trash can lids (symbols); coffee cans with beans in
it (maracas); an old fashioned wash tub upside down (base) and other various
items, while performing on the back of a flatbed truck in parades among
other places. Both Bunny and I had spent some time in this band as teenagers
filling in for members that couldn't be there. This was all brought to us by my
mother, who was in 'cahoots' with these people for years while doing all the
Lions Club shows, etc. So we both said that's the Hog Hollow Hooters! And it
turns out that our guest knows Mom and they were in the band together.
Small
world exclamations were made and we all had a good laugh. Then she toddled off
to her car to finally head home....no doubt very happy that she spent her day
quoting her poems; telling story after story; sharing old photos of her
life...and all the while she had a captured audience and it didn't cost her a
penny! Well played old lady...well played!