At what point do you know you have the flu? How do you tell the difference between just 'being sick' and actually having the flu? I think I can answer that question. You have the flu when your skin feels like it has a life of its own and wants to go live it somewhere else other than with you. When it begins to feel painfully sensitive and puts you into panic mode at least a half hour before the pain reliever is supposed to wear off. When you wake (assuming you can sleep that is) to the silent scream your skin is doing in protest of having to endure you for yet another day. Another clue you have the flu is when your muscles join in with your skin's protest but are trying to one up the skin at the same time. So there again, if you are able to sleep, that sleep will end rather abruptly with stabbing muscle pain. And to keep things interesting and make sure you are paying attention, the stabbing pain is rotated around the body randomly.
Some of this can be tamed with pain relievers (although not for the length of time indicated on the bottle!) but the flu has to be really sure you notice it.....after all this is not a modest cold and you are not going to be allowed to function normally while it's with you..in fact you are going to be made to suffer quite horrendously until you finally reach the point of giving up...and then you will start (just start mind you) to feel better.
So in order to make sure you are not mistaking this for a simple cold...your hair joins in the act. Yes, your hair will betray you. It will become sensitive at first, almost bruised feeling and that feeling will gradually grow to the point where touching it is unthinkable and looking at a hairbrush makes you cry.
Chin up you little Mary...we're not done yet. You have to have the chills running through your body at the same time that your skin hurts first! Chills make it feel like your skin is tightening and that's just exactly the opposite thing you want your skin to do now. So if you can still walk at this point (and you have to get to the bathroom at some point don't you?) you are now walking all hunched over like a little old person, trying desperately not to have your clothes touch you.
To make this experience even more fun you develop a cough and a lightheartedness that sticks with you no matter what you do. The cough is 'unproductive' and very insistent causing you to jerk around spasmodically when it starts up (usually after you've finally found a comfortable position to be in ) which of course sets off the muscle pains again. Then the nose finally gets involved...only a little bit at first...it doesn't want to let you know what it's up to. It begins to spontaneously drip (like a leaky faucet) at the oddest times.
And then you reach a point of 'I just don't care anymore', you've been sick for a week straight, you feel exhausted and totally beaten...and now the symptoms start to step down in the intensity...just a bit, not all at once...and hope begins to grow. And you think you may just make it through this flu in one piece. Silly human! You haven't had the pounding headache yet! And so they begin to start when you wake in the morning and they're joined by the hacking cough you've gotten so good at....because this flu is not quite done with you yet and wants you to know it.
So you learn to sit on the edge of the bed (no small feat) and take whatever medications you have available and stay there, head hanging, trying not to move at all or look at anything (because somehow eye movement is directly involved with that headache), and you wait...for whatever relief you may get when the meds kick in. And you have a dialog with yourself while you wait....running the inventory of pain to see where you stand (or if you'll stand) today. Does my skin still hurt as bad as yesterday? Does it still hurt to touch my hair? Why is my right arm so sore? Where did I get that huge bruise on my wrist? The chills aren't as violent today and they are becoming localized to the center of my back...is that good?
Until one day the symptoms suddenly become manageable and you finally know you will in deed live through this and in fact you no longer wish NOT to live through it. You feel incredibly weak and somewhat fragile, you still have the cough (that will be a souvenir you carry for awhile no doubt) and a mild but persistent headache (another souvenir) but you also have the knowledge to build your system back up to wellness with good food and hopefully now also you are carrying antibodies from this flu and don't have a relapse in your future. It's still a tiring adventure to walk around the yard with the dogs but at least the neighbors will no longer have to bear witness to your 'sick attire' and avert their eyes while walking quickly in the opposite direction, as you've now graduated to showering and dressing yourself...if not fashionably, at least you are no longer in robe and slippers with a rain coat over it all and a scarf wrapped around your head. Even though the neighborhood is mostly elderly and probably can't see far enough to really get a good look at you...or in fact could be dressing like that themselves...it's nice to be able to feel like you've joined the human race again..at least to some small degree.
I think I'll go brush my hair now..... :)
