Well you know I'm not one to quit easily when it comes to most things and that damn inflatable kayak fell neatly into the category of "gotta do that again"...and came real close to qualifying for the "can't be as bad as last time" category as well. So I made plans to take it to the lake again.
I figured a few things out on the first trip that I intended to fix..one of those things was I needed a guinea pig, oh, I mean a friend to come with me. The kayak was made for two people so maybe it actually NEEDS two people to work smoothly. Perhaps it needed the extra weight to stop the mildest wind from having a devastating effect on it. Maybe it needed two people to do the proper steering that was required. And obviously I needed another paddle as well. I had myself half convinced that it was going to be the best water fun I've ever had in my life well before I even asked my sister Bunny to come along. She happened to be on vacation and all the pieces fell into place. We were going back to the lake!
Everybody knows that when you get yourself all pumped up for something it rarely meets your expectations. I guess I needed to be reminded of that. And that's exactly how my second trip out with that kayak ended up...falling way short of my expectations. If anything it was even MORE difficult to control in the wind. (didn't think that was even possible!) Bunny was in front and I was in charge of the back end (or so I thought). We no sooner got a few feet from shore and we both knew we were out of our league. We must have spun that kayak at least 4 times within a few yards of shore. Both of us started laughing and I was having flashbacks to my first trip. Then that guy with the motor boat (I swear he lurks in shadows just waiting for me) just had to go by us to test our maneuvering ability. We failed every test he threw out at us but the waves were small enough to not be a real problem.
As we reached the deeper water,(Bunny started asking me where that island was..I think the distance was freaking her out) spinning several more times on our way, we realized that she needed to paddle one side almost exclusively and I needed to stay on the other. In theory at least Bunny was in charge of the direction we went while I was sort of a rudder of some kind. Most of the way I was compensating for Bunny's over paddling (not that she was doing it wrong..it was an impossible task to begin with) by actually paddling backwards to prevent the inevitable spins. And most of the time I did not succeed at all and we decided it was easier to just go into the spin and try to come out of it after. This time I saw people on the shore watching us with interest. I didn't see any cameras but I was prepared to give a phony name if necessary.
That kayak pulled all the same stunts it did the first time. Maybe that's the problem...maybe it's a STUNT KAYAK and I just didn't read the fine print. Beats me...but we did eventually make it to the island. There was another group of people there and they had arrived in a 'real' boat. It was slightly embarrassing but we were too exhausted to go anywhere else.
I should mention that when we left the boat launch area we were illegal. The place was crawling with rangers and I overheard them asking people with motor boats if they had their life preservers. They are mandatory of course. I had forgotten mine at home like the dumb ass I am and I was not about to drive all the way home to get them. We discussed it at the car (I was very nervous; had pictures in my head of rangers running us down with a souped up speed boat of some kind) and decided to give them the bums rush. We gathered our gear as fast as we could; plopped it down in the kayak; jumped in and took off as fast as we could. And we didn't look back once...mainly because we were too busy spinning.
A short while after we were settled on the little island a canoe showed up with two guys in it. Bunny was facing me but I had a clear view of the two guys and I knew right away they were rangers. I felt the blood run out of my face and I quickly decided not to make eye contact. They were talking to the owner of the real boat (with a motor) while sort of hovering near my pathetic kayak. They were asking him if he had life jackets in the boat and he was assuring them he did and that he was not drinking alcohol. They had a clear view of the interior of my kayak and it was quite obvious that I didn't have the required life jackets in there, yet they said nothing to us. I began to listen very intently to them (while seeming to be very busy doing a variety of little nothings) and as they started pulling away they told the other guy (no doubt for my benefit) that they don't have the power to hand out tickets for not having life jackets but "law enforcement" will be here later in the day and they will be handing out tickets with a fine of $75.00 a piece. Do I need to tell you I was freaking out now??
They paddled calmly away (probably very satisfied that they had scared the hell out of me) to harass other people with boats and Bunny and I started discussing what we will do. Should we leave now before the coppers got there? Would we be able to talk our way out of a ticket or possibly two? Would we ever live it down if we had to leave after we just got there? I soon discovered that Bunny has a belligerent streak hidden under that mild demeanor. She said they can't give us a ticket if we deflate the damn kayak and carry it through the woods! That made me realize that it would be a shame to leave since we just got here and we'd probably get at least one ticket anyway so we may as well stay and enjoy the day before facing the music. We mutually agreed that we would go down kicking and screaming all the way. If they wanted to give us tickets they'd have to catch us first! We were staying!
After awhile (and one change to a sunny spot) we decided to try swimming. The water felt cold when you first had it get to the 'tender bits' but once in the water it felt great. The sun was very warm and repeated trips into the water we needed. It was on the last trip out of the water that we discovered a large black water snake right near the blanket when we returned. I have been going to this lake for many many years but this was the first time I've seen a snake so bold! And he (or she) wasn't about to leave either. I told Bunny I was going to irritate it with one of the paddles and she just about flew over the kayak to be as far away as possible from the snake. I knew it would hit the water and take off but I wasn't sure which direction that would be in. While she couched in a fighting position I started nudging the snake (but not before taking pictures of it...and some close ups too!) in the butt. It did move but only went under a low edge under the water...not good enough. I kept bothering it until it finally headed off to another island. I yelled a warning to other people near that island and figured it was a good days work.
When we'd had more than enough sun we knew it was time to start heading back. The trip back to the boat launch was just as long and tiring as ever, with just as many spins on the way, and just as much trouble trying to stay pointing in the right direction. A couple that were swimming happen to see us when we were just starting a spin and the woman called out to ask if we liked the kayak. I'm sure she thought we had spun around just to talk to her but really we had no control over where we were going (yet again). I told her kayaks are great but don't get an inflatable one...spend the money and get a real one...this one is out of control. I could hear her laughing as we paddled away..heading again in the wrong direction. But I couldn't be concerned about her anymore because now I was seeing the inevitable arrest scene playing through my head. I was sure we were going to be confronted by someone when we reached the boat launch.
A thousand lifetimes passed before we reached the boat launch. At one point I was pretty sure we were going to miss it and go over the small falls but instead we came in backwards and I'd like to believe we made it look like we wanted to do that. To our relief there was not a single ranger in sight and absolutely no police either! I'm even wondering if the little rat rangers in the canoe lied to scare the hell out of us. We loaded that kayak in record time; packed our stuff in the car and headed for home...sun burnt; tired and happy.
The kayak is a piece of crap but we got away with not having life jackets and laughed our butts off trying to master that green balloon on the water. We were scared by a snake and charmed by dragonflies and I even tried some wild blueberries. (they tasted terrible by the way) Overall it was a day well spent and who knows I may just try it again before this summer is over. But I'm keeping my eye open for end of summer sales on kayaks just the same. :)
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