Shalynn Jasmine Henderson

My newest granddaughter was born 8-24-15 at 6:23 am. She was 3 weeks early and then was taking her time coming out. That ended in a c-section but everybody came through it just fine. Although considered a preemie in some respects, Shay (as most of us have nicknamed her) doesn't have any health issues. She's perfectly normal but just very small. 
Here are some pictures from her birth up through today. 

Hard to believe you go into the hospital as yourself and come out as Dad. 

 

Very pretty face for a newborn, eh?

I realize all the pictures look somewhat the same at this stage but I can't help myself. 

So tiny in the seat with a blanket. 

Finally got one with her eyes open at least!

Kaylee holding Shalynn....or as I like to call it, Kay holding Shay. 

Mom aka Great Grandma, feeding Shay. 

Shay can't hold her formula yet. She looks drunk! 

One foot escaped....

Almost Halloween

 Well it's almost Halloween and that got me thinking about a few things. The last few years I haven't made any new costumes and this year Kaylee is not even wearing one of the costumes I have in stock. (it's like I have a costume museum). She wants to be Cat Woman this year....or A Cat Woman...I'm not sure which but I'll be sure to take pictures to clarify that. 

So if I'm not making any costumes my attention turned to decorations instead. These days there are many more options and a lot more creativity circulating around decorating for Halloween. Does anyone do ordinary carved pumpkins anymore? I've come across some better pumpkin carving designs this year that I will be trying out. They always make it seem like its a simple thing to do but if you've tried to transfer an outline on to a pumpkin you know it's not all that easy sometimes. I'll take pictures of whatever I come up with in that department too. 

But the real reason for this post is a salute to a very old horror movie that I remember from when I was a kid. I happened upon a photo from The Creature from the Black Lagoon(made in 1954 in black and white) and I became curious about who the actor was inside that terrifying costume. Now you have to understand that this movie is a big deal to me. I was absolutely terrified of it when I saw it as a kid. I don't know how old I was but I know I was young enough to believe what I was seeing on the television could possibly be true. And I grew up swimming in the brook next to our house so the idea of that creature making its way from the lagoon to my brook was always in the back of my head. And considering we did a fair amount of dodging snapping turtles and eels in the brook, for me it wasn't that big a stretch to begin thinking the creature could be under the water too. 

One of the things that surprised me about the movie information I came across is that there was an actor that played the creature on land (Ben Chapman) and a different actor that played the creature in the underwater scenes (Ricou Browning). I focused on Ricou first because I saw his picture posing as the creature but without the head....a first for me. 

Ricou Browning was born in Fort Pierce, Florida in 1930 and he was the only one to ever play the creature underwater. There were 2 more sequels to the movie; Revenge of the Creature (1955) and The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)...I never saw either of them but judging by the dates they were quick to cash in on the first films popularity. (there is also a 2015 remake in the works starring Scarlett Johansson as the female lead) Ricou played the creature underwater in all three films but they had different actors for the land creature in each movie. He is currently still living and is 85 yrs old. In fact unless I'm mistaken, he is the last actor living from that first movie. He got his career started diving and springboard diving in local water shows. By the time he was in his early 20's he was producing underwater shows at Weeki Wachee Springs and topside water shows at Rainbow Springs and other locations. After the creature movies he went on to become president of Tors' Florida studios; also worked as a director (above and below water), second unit director, writer, underwater photographer;stunt man and stunt coordinator and was the creator of the popular tv show Flipper and much much more. 

Although he played an important role in all three of the creature movies, he was not listed on the credits for any of them.  

Personal Quote from Ricou Browning:

As far as I see it Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) was just another movie and it was just another job. I've done many things since then that I am much more proud of. But I've gotten more reaction out of the Creature thing than anything else. Well, I guess that's life!   

Ben Chapman was the man in the creature suit while on land in the first movie. He was paid $300.00 a week during the filming of the movie.

He was born in Oakland, California, (1925)while his Tahitian parents were on a trip to the United States. He was raised in Tahiti, relocated to the U.S. in 1940 and went to school in the Bay Area of San Francisco. Working as a Tahitian dancer in nightclubs led to his first movie job, a bit in MGM's "Pagan Love Song" (1950); other small film roles followed before Korean War duty temporarily sidetracked his modest screen career. Talent scouts from Universal-International "discovered" Chapman upon his return, and for a year he became a Universal-International stock player--and, at six-foot-five, an ideal choice for the title role in "Creature from the Black Lagoon."

He was fluent in French, Tahitian, and Chinese as well as English. He died of congestive heart failure in 2008 at the age of 83 while living in Honolulu, Hawaii. He is survived by his three children: Benjamin Franklin Chapman III, Grant Chapman, Elyse Maree Raljevich, and by his sister, Moea Baty.

 

I think they were having a little fun with it here....

Tragic Event in 1975

On July 22, 1975 in Boston, a 19-year-old and her 2-year-old goddaughter were trapped in a burning building. A firefighter shielded them from the flames as a fire ladder inched closer.

 The fire escape at the fifth floor collapsed as a turntable ladder was extending to pick up the two at the height of approximately 50 feet (15 meters).

The photograph, which is a part of a series, shows 19-year-old Diana Bryant and her 2-year-old goddaughter Tiare Jones falling from the collapsed fire escape of a burning apartment on Marlborough Street in Boston.

Bryant died from her injuries, but Jones survived the fall, which was believed to be softened by her landing on Bryant’s body. The photo also shows falling potted plants.

 The story as described by the photographer: 

It was 22 July 1975. I was about to leave the offices of the Boston Herald for the day. A call came in about a fire in one of the city’s older sections of Victorian row houses. I rushed to the house and followed one of the engines to the fire. I ran to the back of the building, because on the way there they kept yelling for a ladder truck because there were people trapped in the building on the fire escape.
I ran to the back of the building and when I looked up there was a woman and a child on the fire escape and they were basically leaning at the furthest point from the building because of the heat of the fire behind them. In the meantime, a firefighter called Bob O’Neil had climbed on to the front of the building on the roof and saw the pair on the fire escape. He lowered himself on to the fire escape to rescue them.
I took a position where I could photograph what I thought was an impending routine rescue. The ladder went up to pick them up – they were about 50ft (15m) up. Mr O’Neill had just told Diana Bryant that he was going to step onto the ladder and asked her to hand the baby to him. Mr O’Neil was reaching out for the ladder when suddenly the fire escape gave way. I was shooting pictures as they were falling – then I turned away. It dawned on me what was happening and I didn’t want to see them hit the ground. I can still remember turning around and shaking.
It transpired that I wouldn’t have seen them hit the ground as they fell behind a fence where the bins were. When I did turn around I didn’t see them but I saw the firefighter still clinging onto the ladder with one arm, like a monkey, with all his gear. He hoisted himself back up the fire escape to safety. They say the woman broke the child’s fall. The woman died later that night.

Bait and Switch?

Bait and Switch

I had a disturbing experience with a company in Manchester that sells new and used office furniture and here’s how it went.

I went to the 1^st interview; met the man that would be my Supervisor (older man; Veteran; quietly watches and rarely speaks…goes by the name of Jim). I met the man who will run the interview (30 something; beginning to bald in the front; attractive; obviously a good sales manager and very pro work…goes by the name of Jeff) and he never stops talking. I am not exaggerating when I say he never stopped talking. At first I thought maybe he was nervous but I would later realize he likes the sound of his own voice and he’s a micro-manager….of everything. He begins giving me minute details to every aspect of the job; the company; the process; the goals…well, you get the picture. I let him talk and interjected info about myself and my skills wherever I could fit them in…which was not often and was not as smooth as I would have liked.

Older Vet asks me one question: If I was in a difficult spot would I be reactive or proactive? My first thought is are you kidding me? I looked at him and said well, I’d better be proactive or I won’t get very far….while thinking to myself what is this...a word comprehension test?  Is he serious? What a stupid question!

Interview ends (1 ½ hrs.) and young man says he will call (forgot to mention he took numerous calls during our interview also) to set up the 2^nd interview with Carlene and the CEO in a couple of days. Carlene is the woman who currently has the job. I am satisfied (and a little mystified) and leave the un-air-conditioned showroom warehouse where I have been sweating bullets for the past hour. (I was not warned there would be no air-conditioning – and the offices were fully air-conditioned. So why conduct an interview in excessive heat? Clueless? A test? Your guess is as good as mine).

The following week, after not hearing from young man, I call and leave a polite phone message. Thanked him for the interview; hope to hear from him soon, blah, blah, blah…..no response.

The next week I sent one of my polite standard emails (after doing detective work to locate his email because he never gave it to me and it’s not on the company website), still no response.

Third week I sent another (but different) email; still very polite – still no response.

As with other companies, I put them on the back burner; assume they found someone else they liked and go on with my job hunt. I handled this company the same way. I wasn’t entirely convinced I wanted this job to begin with and it’s simply not worth the time and effort unless I’m sure I want it.

Suddenly out of the blue, weeks later, I get a call from Carlene (wicked nice and friendly) – they want to schedule a 2^nd interview. Great!  (But what took you so long?)

At the 2^nd interview the older Veteran greets me and brings me to a smallish conference room…air-conditioned (I guess I’ve hit the big time now)….although the ac is no longer necessary because we have passed out of the humid heatwave of the earlier interview…and that fact is not lost on me. There is a slight feeling that I have stepped into a B rated movie.

While waiting for Carlene and young man I am able to make friendly conversation with older Vet. He tells me an amusing story of how he hurt his arm, which is bandaged in the middle. I guess he saves the dead-pan attitude and not so swift questions for the first interview.  His piercing blue eyes no longer seem to be silently drilling through me. Now he’s a normal guy and I like him.

Carlene comes in; (black woman; early 40’s perhaps; friendly; outgoing; very competent and straight forward) and I like her immediately – we are clicking like crazy and the interview hasn’t even started. Finally young man arrives and is silent after the greeting, while Carlene takes the lead… Still the CEO is a no show. She asked good questions (not bullshit ones from the internet) and I gave her good answers. She explained the job specifics (nothing I haven’t already heard from young man but with more appropriate detail). I asked pointed questions. My turn to ask questions and I did – of all 3 of them. I could tell they were surprised and impressed by me – I could see it on their faces. Their answers were geared to tell me more about them not so much about the job.

All 3 had answers that told me they are happiest when the job at hand is completed and they get that feeling of accomplishment from it. Only young man was slightly different; he said he’s not so interested in the people side of the job; he’d rather be left alone to get his job done but that’s part of the job (dealing with people). I made light of it and joked that he deals with people all day long. He relaxed; smiled and said he enjoyed selling and got satisfaction from completing a sale but he’s not a people person.

Now it was young man’s turn to ask me some questions most of which were the standard crap from the internet – until he asked what my greatest strength was. I think he thought he was being clever to change the question about the greatest weakness that most places ask. My answer was completely honest and immediate. I read people I say. I read their behavior; body language; eyes and speech. I’ve always done it and it’s automatic with me. (I have never told anyone this outright before but I did write a paper about it for my Psychology class. I have no idea what possessed me to come out with that). Carlene and Older Vet seemed satisfied but perhaps a little surprised by my answer. But young man’s face fell – he momentarily lost his smile and had a slightly worried look on his face. It was fleeting and he recovered his smile (from the floor) quickly but not before I noted it and filed in in my head.

At the very end of the interview young man drops the bomb and probably this was the reason for his worried look. He announces that some aspects of the job have changed and they are as follows:

The job is now salary (at first interview it was hourly)

The job requires 50 hrs. a week (was 40 hrs.)

Some Saturdays are now mandatory (no weekends previously)

Saturdays would be on the showroom floor selling furniture (Surprise! We want you to share our pain so we’re going to make a sales person out of you.)

And I would now be responsible for H.R. issues involving the 3-4 delivery men that work under me. (previously I was only responsible for scheduling deliveries) I would now be in charge of discipline up to firing them – firing would be done with Older Vet. (probably with him starring them to death and asking stupid questions…in other words I’d be doing it with him watching me)

I tried not to show any reaction to this info. I asked a few questions to be sure I got it correct and took notes. The interview ended and I left. By the time I got home there was a message on my answering machine from young man saying he would ‘probably’ be sending me an offer via email and that I should check my email. In truth he had already sent the offer…I found this out later.

I sat down and wrote up my impressions of the interview including a pro’s and con’s list. The only thing in the pro’s list was I need a job…it was all con’s. In fact the more I thought about it the angrier I got. The 2^nd interview was a sham in my eyes – the job was no longer the job I had applied for. I was being ‘played’ by young man who is more slick salesman than anything else. I strongly feel that I should have been informed of all these ‘changes’ to the job BEFORE I agreed to the 2^nd interview and certainly not at the last minute with a room full of people watching me.

As it happens my wireless modem died before I could even read the offer, which forced me to go to my son’s house to read it. It was a low ball offer with the money as well…especially considering the changes they made to the job. Not having internet service forced me to have to wait to send my email response which is fine for two reasons. They certainly weren’t in a hurry to respond to MY emails (or phone message) and I prefer not to respond to things like this when I’m angry.

I think what young man did was underhanded; unprofessional and rather sleazy but I don’t hate him for it. I think he’s inexperienced and has been pushed up the ladder a little too quickly by people who don’t want to run their own business. (Which would account for why the CEO is a constant no show and Carlene is being pushed up the ladder to be his right hand person because she’s the most competent of them all). It was obvious to me when young man was asking me (stupid internet) questions that he had no real knowledge of why he was doing it. I even asked him how one question relates to the job and he said he didn’t know…he was just asking. (Stupid thing to say in an interview…and this guy is the one in charge of the others. Yikes!).

Even if they changed the job back to its original description I wouldn’t want it. Now that I know how young man operates and that he is pretty much in charge (no guarantee Carlene has any control over him either) I couldn’t work there. I don’t respect or trust him. Besides that the money is not good enough for that level of responsibility and I never EVER said I was willing to do any sales! They are very stingy with their time off; no sick days and raises are based on their idea of production…which I’m sure would not match mine at all. I would be miserable in this job and trapped if I took it as it wouldn’t leave me any time to interview for jobs I actually would want. And then there is school to consider…..how would I even find time to do homework?

More Class Photo's

The top photo is my 2nd grade class with Mrs. Wilson being the teacher. To tell the truth I don't remember that teacher at all. A friend of mine filled me in on who she was. Can you pick me out in the group?

This picture is my 5th grade class and the teacher was Mrs. Frink. Interesting fact about her; she was also my Mother's teacher before me. Mrs. Frink was mean as hell...to the point where you'd think she was hired to terrify children and destroy their self-esteem. She picked on certain kids unmercifully and I was too young to know I should have reported her for it. She also kept apples and oranges and such things in her ample bosom. I credit her for my aversion to math to this day. Her 'teaching' techniques were outdated and her personality was outright mean. 
In the photo I am stuck behind her big ass head so you can't see me. She should have been standing to the side like the other teacher's all did....and I can only assume the photographer was too afraid of her to dare correct her. This photo was not mine (not sure my parents bothered to buy the class photo that year) but came from a classmate. Bonus points to whomever drew the mustache on her!!

Hard Times

I have no background info on this photo. I found it on line and just felt bad for anyone that would have to live like this. 

Flashback to the 4th Grade

I'm the 3rd one from the right in the first row. And my best friend at the time was Nicki....at the far left in the first row. I have my knees together like a little lady. I cracked up when I looked at how Nicki was sitting. Ahhhh good times....good times. 

Almost Over Now – Health and Wellness Promotion

Well I’m almost finished with this semester at MCC. It’s been a strange and interesting portion of my life. Last night was my last class for Health and Wellness promotion. I still have 1 more quiz to do for that class (online) and then the final will be on Tuesday (also online) but there will be no more class time. That class started off being very interesting and fairly easy and ended up being still easy but less interesting. I really like Professor Magee but it felt like after the mid-term she was just pretty much phoning it in. That sounds like a strange thing for the student to say about the teacher. It’s usually the other way around. But all we were doing is going over stuff that was already in the book only she was putting it up on a screen in a PowerPoint format.

Last night she went over our last chapter (about Alcohol Addiction) and honestly she was going so fast I decided to just pull out the book and take the info from there for my notes. It’s not like there was anything really NEW to say anyway; everyone pretty much knows how alcohol will ruin your life if you get addicted. She also handed back 2 quizzes we had taken in previous weeks. On each quiz I got 1 answer wrong. There was a question I got wrong that I wanted to know the correct answer to because we still have the final to do. The question was: Men in which of the following ethnic groups have the highest risk of developing prostate cancer? When I asked her what the answer should have been she hesitated and then said look it up in your book. Translation: I don’t know the answer.   And in that small moment I knew why I had been feeling less enthusiastic about the class then when it first started. She doesn’t know the information. She only knows what she’s read….just like us. And if she doesn’t have the answer sheet in front of her she has no more idea of the correct answer than anyone else in the class. I was disappointed in her and I looked up the answer myself. The answer is: African American and Jamaican men.

Another reason why I felt disappointed was because I was hoping to learn NEW information in this class…and to have some class discussion/debate about this information. We did a little of that in the beginning but it went steadily downhill as the semester progressed. I also realized that she either has no concept of the many health debates going on in the world (GMO’s; radiated foods; factory farming, etc) or she chooses to remain ignorant of them. She only ever had the sanitized black and white version that came from the book and no opinion of her own.

She rushed through our class last night….there were only a handful of students there. I guess they wanted to get out of the class early. One of the students had asked me last week if I was going to bring in any baked goods for the last class. (I had brought in chocolate chip cookies earlier in the semester) She told me she’d love some brownies…..so I made them. Then when I got to class she wasn’t there…no big deal; lots of them wander in a few minutes late. Eventually she showed up with her little boy and a teenage girl….told the teacher she didn’t feel well and was only staying for a little while. She stayed long enough to help one of the older (clueless but nice) women get her report downloaded to the teacher’s inbox. When she was leaving I told her to take some brownies with her. She looked at me and said: Do I look like I need brownies? (not rudely; in a laughing manner). Now it’s true she is a little overweight but hey, she had ASKED me to make them! And that’s what I told her….also in a joking manner but I meant it. Her little boy took one on the way out.

At the end of the class one of the other clueless older women (one I’ve been avoiding all semester) heard me talking to another woman about how there is no class offered for my program, as a night class, until next Spring….and I’m pretty pissed about it too. Now she started grilling me and not understanding what I was telling her. This is the same woman that took up valuable class time making the teacher repeat herself over and over in several classes….about how to do the big final report we had to do. She is arrogant and ignorant about seemingly everything. She constantly flies off the handle about things she doesn’t understand…..I don’t need that crap. My customer service skills kicked in and I repeated the information (called the broken record) at her until she stopped asking me. She then moved on to badger the professor about how she “better get a good grade on her report because she busted her butt” doing it. Nervy huh?? (This is a woman that doesn’t have a computer at home and doesn’t know how to use one anyway. She’s been a problem all semester because she lacks these skills. Everything is done on line in these schools now) Professor wasn’t taking any crap from her. She told her you’ll get graded according to the outline that is listed on the syllabus, just like everyone else. I started saying my good-byes at that point. The professor actually hugged me and thanked me for bringing in the foods I had baked for the class. She’s a nice woman; is a personal trainer in her profession; and I like her very much. I just don’t think she makes the best teacher. I shouldn’t be complaining I guess. The class was easy and I’m fairly sure I got a good grade. I still have to do a quiz and the final before finding out for sure however.

Frustration!

                                                                     
My biggest frustration these days is looking for work. 

There is the constant threat of severance pay running out and not having a job before that happens. 

There have been plenty of phone calls from interested potential employers wanting to see if I'm still interested in working for them because it's taken them so long to get through the hiring process only to find out its one of the 'loser jobs' that I applied to more for practice than a real desire to work there. 

There have been classes taken and completed in Microsoft Word; Excel and Power Point programs. There have been typing tests galore to polish my typing skills to a brilliant shine (55 words per minute). There was even a class taken in CPR because it's always interested me and it can't hurt. There have been job offers I had to turn down because the pay was so pitiful it is questionable how anyone can sustain life on it. There have been 'free' offers to critique my resume...of course followed by the offer to 'make it professional' for a small fee and for a pittance more they will throw in a professional cover letter. 

But the part about looking for work that really ticks me off are the people that call you to see if you are still available; request a call back to set up a telephone interview; said call back is completed and they are never heard from again! My limit with these types of calls involve two call backs with polite messages left for them. After that, if I don't hear from them within a few days, all information about that job and the telephone tag is documented and filed. If they should call again at some later date I will easily be able to pull the file and read how shabbily they treated such a fine applicant as myself. Hopefully I get the chance to tell them sorry, you missed the boat as I have already been snatched up by a different company and you have missed out on an awesome employee!

Procrastination 101

I wrote this in 1989 when I was still relatively new at the bank. It's nice to know I haven't changed much over the years. 






Procrastination 101

Nontraditional Interdepartmental Training Program

You have been nominated for this pilot program designed to teach the finer aspects of the lesser known skills needed to succeed in the business world. The following modules will be covered in this 5 day course.

A)    Why do it now? : A history of procrastination through the ages.

1.      What is procrastination?

2.      Famous procrastinators of this century.

B)    Procrastination Excellence

1.      Seven basic steps of procrastination.

2.      Putting off 6 of the 7 procrastination steps.

3.      Looking good without really doing anything!

4.      Accomplishing nothing and doing it well!

C)    The Essentials of Procrastination:

An in-depth look at how and why procrastination is crucial to the business world.

D)    The Procrastination Reflex:

1.      Learn techniques for exceptional and creative procrastination.

2.      Examine the responses that can be achieved by a truly gifted procrastinator.

This program is to be monitored closely by some of upper management’s best procrastinators. When they get around to it; they will be evaluating:

A)    Content of the class material ( if there is any)

B)    Presentation of material (assuming we get that far)

C)    Class participation (for those who actually show up)

D)    Instructors technical skills (as if we care)

If this pilot program is rated as successful there will be a series of non-traditional training programs to follow, covering such topics as:

A)    Belligerent Delegating

B)    Toxic Project Dumping

C)    Intro to Spontaneous Management

D)    Developing Damning Documentation

E)     Provocative Presentations

F)     Creative Corporate Composts

Those of you who do not get around to attending the class will automatically be designated as graduates of the class. For those special few who actually offer a creative lie as an excuse for not attending the class, you will automatically be enrolled in our graduate course entitled “Be Vague or Shut-up” (formally known as “Lying to Save Your Butt”). These individuals will also be expected to teach the next Procrastination 101 course.

In the event that any of you do attend this class, you will of course flunk the course and be assigned closet security duty for the next month.

This piece was originally written on March 22, 1989 and sent to my supervisor and a supervisor of a department we worked closely with in the bank. I wrote it in response to yet another request (from my supervisor) for me to complete a task that was not in my job description; something that was happening so often that it was difficult to see exactly how my supervisor was actually employed unless of course his job was simply to see how high I could jump.

My supervisor was not amused and simply asked me when I was going to have that task finished. 
The supervisor from the other department signed up for my class. 

So How Is School Going......??

Well because we've been having a snow storm every week for the last 3 weeks, I have not had my Psychology class as yet. But just because the class is cancelled doesn't mean the professor isn't busy assigning homework. And just because the professor is busy assigning homework doesn't mean I'm aware of it either. I found out by accident that he doesn't use the Black Board (electronic system used by the college) for anything. But he does use the free email that every student automatically gets assigned to them. Of course I wouldn't know this because I haven't been to a class of any kind in about 30 yrs....you know, back when we just did line paintings on the cave walls. 

The problem is that I had no idea he was sending homework through the email system because I wasn't in there. My other professor in my Health and Wellness class was the one that turned the lights on in my cave. She uses the Black Board system and email and every kind of electronic device known to man (and woman). Her class is very enjoyable but that is not to be confused with easy. I am going to have to work harder than I expected in this class. 

So now I find that I am buried in Psychology homework, including a Reflection paper....I don't even know what that is....several chapters of the book to read (and remember key things)...and the threat of having to take several quizzes when we finally meet in a classroom, hanging over my head.  I am not amused. 

And to add insult to injury, I don't think I did all that well on my first quiz in the Health & Wellness class. I'm getting the impression that these people expect me to be able to remember stuff. What the hell is THAT all about??!!

In Due Time....

For those of you that don't know already, I am going back to school. I'm going to be starting night school in a couple of weeks. When I'm finished I'll be a Recreational Therapeutic Therapist. Now doesn't that sound fancy??!! 

But like so many things in this world, everything does not always run smoothly. Read on.....

Isn't it always the case that when you are in a hurry and minutes count, something always happens to slow you down? Here's my slow motion day....

I needed to get to MCC today to buy the books I need for school and to get familiar with the layout of the school. (it is much different now from when I went there in 1980) I knew this could eat up a large portion of the day so I was in a hurry to get there and get it over with. Of course there is always something that slows you down and that something today started with gas. I needed to put gas in the car. Well to put gas in the car I'd need money. That meant a trip to the ATM and then the gas station....two slow downs already and I haven't even left the house. No problem...I got this. 

When I get to the gas station each pump has a car at it. This always necessitates making a guess as to which pump might open up first....and making that guess quickly because other cars are coming in too. Well, no one was pumping; they were all in their cars so I had no way of knowing if they were coming or going. I made a guess and pulled in behind a blue car that was closest to the attendant station. 

The man in that car got out and I noticed right away he had a full head of white hair...rather impressive looking I thought. He went to the attendant station and took longer than normal to transact his business. I don't know what the issue was but it took a long time. Then he turned; walked 5 steps and stood facing his car while he slowly fished around in his back pocket for his wallet. Having found the wallet he put something in it but still had a piece of paper in his hand. Then he turned and stared at the pump for awhile.....making sure it was a pump? The pump staring was interrupted by his turning to open the gas compartment on his car. Then he turned back to the pump and resumed staring at the pump again. This is followed by finally lifting the nozzle and turning back to the car again. Then he had to remove the gas cap as he hadn't done that previously. But then he realized he hadn't selected which form of gasoline he was going to put in his car. That involved some more staring at the pump followed by (finally) button pushing. For some reason he felt he had to push the button about 8 times. Even from my vantage point I could see his selection had been accepted as the green light was on but that didn't stop him from pushing the button harder a few more times before realizing he was all set to go. 

I have to admit while sitting in my car watching all this I was getting more and more irritated and was trying to keep calm while I watched this guy perform his 'idiot pumping gas' routine. I kept reminding myself that it is only a minor slow down...soon I'll be on my way. Silly me. When all the excessive button pushing was going on and the green light was clearly screaming to be noticed I found myself screaming too. First the screaming was in my head but it finally spilled over to my mouth. Yup, I was in my car screaming at this man...'pump the gas! pump the gas! pump the damn gas!!!' He couldn't hear me and it didn't make him move any faster but it did make me feel better. 

Finally the nozzle was placed in the car and then he set the handle to keep running........while he turned around to face the pump and began another slow motion attempt to fish out that elusive wallet of his. Fumble, fumble in the wallet...paper still in hand. Place wallet back in butt pocket. Return to staring at the pump.

I could feel myself aging as I was watching him....

When the pump clicked off he actually reached for the nozzle and returned it to the pump! Happy day! But then it all turned sour again as he returned to the attendant station for discussion; hand gestures; paper waving and more discussion....all done in slow motion. In my car I've begun the 'get in your car' chant. It goes like this: Get in your car..get in your car...get in your car...get in your car!!! 

He had me going when he finally turned around and took those 5 steps back to his car. But oh no, it's not that easy. He had to stand there facing his car and fumble for that damn wallet yet again. I'm convinced he had no reason to take out that wallet...there didn't seem to be anything going in or out of it but he had to take it out for some reason. Ok, the wallet goes back in the butt pocket and then....and then....*sigh* he had to stand next to the car with the car door open while he looked at that piece of paper in his hand. Then he folded that paper and put it in a pocket too...but not the wallet pocket. THAT would be crazy!

Then he did a truly amazing thing...he got in the car and turned it on! But don't you go thinking that he's going to drive away. No, that's crazy thinking. He still had to sit there and contemplate the state of our country or some such deep thought process or perhaps he was texting someone. All I could see was that he was looking down. 

The urge to ram him was very strong at this point. But I'm pretty sure that kind of stuff is frowned upon in polite society so I held myself back. Finally he was gone and I could pull forward and get gas in my car. That accomplished (and very quickly I might add) I pulled out and started down the road. I didn't get too far when I found myself stuck behind a woman driver going slow enough to impress a snail. I can not pass her. All I can do is hope she goes in a different direction. Nope...she's going the same way I am, at a crawl, braking at every single thing she sees (no matter how far ahead it may be!); with a growing chain of cars following behind her and I'm the leader of them all. Boy, this day is really shaping up to be great!

When she finally got to the road she wanted to turn onto, she did use her blinker.....for at least a quarter mile even. Then she completed the classic move of pulling to the right (with her left blinker on) before taking that left....in slow motion. In effect she blocked the entire road on both sides while she completed this slow motion clueless driver move. I'm rolling my eyes and trying not to have a stroke, having had to come to a complete stop (and holding up that line behind me) to avoid hitting her. Once she was out of the way I continued on to the school where I had yet another encounter with a book store lady that was odd but at least not in slow motion. 

She was trying to be helpful and assist me in finding my classrooms. I already had a map of the school and I was pretty sure I had my route set in my head but I wanted to do a walk through to be sure. Well by the time she got done giving me her helpful hints and such I had no idea where I was or what I was looking for anymore. I decided to just wander lost a bit and look at all the student artwork posted everywhere. I was very impressed with some of it. 

Eventually I had to reverse some of my steps or suffer being lost forever. I have a fairly good sense of direction and I knew I had wandered far off in the wrong direction. I did find my way back to an area where I recognized where I was and even found myself a short cut to use when classes start. So I think I'm fairly all set for now and I've learned two good pieces of information too. The first being...give myself extra time to get there and the other....be careful who I take directions from. 

All in all it was a good day. I got my books and I know where my classrooms are. I can't ask for more than that right now.